Let’s face it, anyone who has ever dealt with infertility can tell you how it can literally turn everything you believed to be true about yourself and your world on its head.

Lately, I have been working with several high-achieving, Type A clients who are really struggling with this turmoil. Even though on the surface, these women look different from one another, they share some common traits. All of them come from backgrounds where there was struggle, and they saw their ability to be successful as a way out of what they came from. All of them have learned that the way to achieve in life is to focus on the goal, pull out all the stops, and work as hard as possible to make it happen. And finally, all of them have experienced success with this formula, actualizing many dreams by pure grit and effort–until now.

The realization that this formula often does not offer a solution to infertility can hit a woman hard. Feelings of loss and confusion are not uncommon. It may feel scary to shift gears when the old way has seemingly worked for so long.

And yet, infertility can open the door to another kind of wisdom as well. As powerful as a woman can be, pushing hard is not the only way this power can express. Sometimes power is about being soft and gentle with life and with one’s self. Sometimes power is about letting go, and making space for a different way of being than you have ever experienced before.

If you find yourself pushing hard against one closed door after another, stop and take a breath. Ask yourself, “What do I really need right now?” And then, maybe for the first time in a long time, listen for that still, small voice inside you. The answers may surprise you.