If you’ve decided to use a third party to use your baby, (an egg donor, a gestational carrier), you’ve probably wondered whether to share this information with your friends and family, and of course, if and when to tell your child.

This delicate subject is one I tackle in my Emotionally Speaking column, in the current Fall issue of Conceive Magazine, on newsstands now.

Let’s start with whether to share this information with your friends and family. In making this decision, it’s important for you and your husband to think back on how you’ve made other decisions together, and then to consciously put time aside to explore what works for the two of you.

When you share with others, it will be tempting to think that everyone will be delighted. But the truth is, some people will be more supportive than others. Here are some guidelines to get you started:

Start Easy. Begin by sharing with those that you know will be excited for you. This will reinforce the rightness of your choice.

Know Yourself. If there are people in your family that you know will be difficult to talk to, consider bringing someone supportive with you to shore up your confidence.

Educate Your Audience. Most people have no idea how much is involved in making this type of decision. Sharing your journey and what brought you and your partner to this point can help put your decision in perspective.

Give Them Time: After you have shared, let it go and give time for your information to settle. Let people know you are available if they’d like to talk more about it.

I’ll talk more about how and when to tell your child in an upcoming blog.

Marina