One of the most devastating things about infertility is the way it can impact you and your partner’s intimate relationship. Something that was just supposed to be between the two of you has now become a means to an end, subject to timing, testing, and in some cases, clinical intervention. Unfortunately, being intimate can now become a reminder of the problem.

Recently, one of my clients shared about how he and his wife had reclaimed their sexual relationship. With infertility treatment behind them, they were now discovering what it was like to be a couple again.

As much as this is wonderful news, you don’t have to wait until you are on the other side of infertility to reconnect in this way. Here is some tips on how to stay connected to your partner, and nurture intimacy on your fertility journey:

Plan a date night: Make time to be alone and together, ideally on a weekly basis. Do things that encourage interaction, especially the types of things you enjoyed doing when you first became a couple. Talk about anything that comes to mind EXCEPT money, your jobs, and–you guessed it–fertility!

Plan for nonsexual physical connection: It’s important to start to link up having fun and being together physically. Some great ways to do this are to consider nonsexual physical activities like ballroom dancing, taking a yoga class, working out at the gym–things that make you feel physically good about yourself, and one another.

Plan getaways: There are times when you need to throw caution (and your fertility protocol) to the wind, and just get away. Sometimes a change in scenery can help recharge a relationship. Plan for these breaks–even an overnight can do wonders.

Marina Lombardo